By Luke Dodemaide

Despite popular thought, it wasn’t iPhone-wielding millennials who first pioneered a thirst for validation. Look no further than 19th century writer Mark Twain, who said, “I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I feel as though they have not said enough.”

In truth, it is rooted in our very nature, and Twain’s century-old take hits on a very modern point in today’s workplace. We, or at least the managers among us, are not saying enough. A 2022 survey by Zenger Folkman revealed that 21% of managers avoided giving negative feedback to employees, but 37% avoided giving positive feedback. Researchers hypothesised that this might be because managers see providing correction as part of the job, while positive feedback is optional.

Those figures are alarming because positive feedback helps increase motivation, boosts confidence and shows employees that you value them.

The many benefits of praise also stretch beyond the person you are complimenting – to the person who is giving the kudos. The mere act of praise exercises your brain’s ability to look for the positive, countering an intrinsic survival instinct bias that we have, to focus on the negatives as we remain alert for potential dangers.

Linda Robson is executive director of The Hummingbirds, a Sydney training and coaching enterprise; Jason Rosoff is the co-founder and CEO of Radical Candor and co-host of the Radical Candor podcast; and Julia Shallcrass is the founder of KiwiBoss and an employment lawyer with expertise in upskilling HR professionals.

Here are their 10 tips for empowering employees through positive feedback.

1. Recognise positivity as a pillar

Simply put, positivity drives purpose. A joint study in Japan by the National Institute for Physiological Sciences, Nagoya Institute of Technology and the University of Tokyo tested 48 adults, challenging them to execute keyboard patterns they learned over two days. Once learnt, they were split into three groups. One received compliments, another overheard them, and a third simply evaluated their own performance.

What researchers discovered is that those who received the compliments were more engaged and performed markedly better than the other groups. Norihiro Sadato, an author of the study, says: “To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money.”

“Positive feedback is crucial for shaping workplace culture and building successful teams,” says Shallcrass. “When employees receive positive feedback, they are more likely to feel valued and motivated in their roles. Praising good performance helps cultivate a positive work environment, and recognition of success sets higher standards for excellence in the team.”

2. Respect the praise-to-criticism ratio

John Gottman, US professor emeritus at the University of Washington, developed what is widely known as the Gottman Ratio. This ratio states that the optimum equilibrium for good relationships is five positive interactions for every negative one.

The Gottman Ratio was based on observations of intimate relationships (such as marriage or long-term partners) but has since found its way into the working world.

It is worth noting that the suggested optimum ratio still allows for about 20% of feedback to be negative and this balance is considered healthy.

With that slice of criticism, Robson says it is worth remembering: “No one wakes up intending to do or say something that would require another person to give them constructive feedback. The reason you need to give the feedback is that the other person has unproductive behaviours that, when left unchecked, will continue, which is not healthy for them or others around them.”

3. Cut back on using the word feedback

Robson suggests you can upend the idea of what is negative, beginning with the word feedback itself, which can carry a negative connotation. “Many learners I have trained tend to view feedback as a negative,” says Robson.

“I love an expression that a former colleague gave me: ‘You need to give feedback in order to feed it forward’. I advise anyone wanting to give feedback not to start with: ‘I want to give you some feedback…’, which is bound to set off alarms. Instead, say: ‘I want to talk to you about…’.”

Think about Brad Pitt’s dialogue in the 1999 film Fight Club: ‘The first rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is, you do not talk about Fight Club!’

To paraphrase the famous line, the first rule of feedback is to avoid using the word feedback!

“Build personal relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Give praise that is specific and sincere, and criticism that is kind and clear.”

4. Ensure communication is a two-way street

The more fluid the exchanges between team members, the better the results will be.

“Foster an environment where open communication is encouraged and valued,” says Rosoff. “Encourage team members to provide feedback to each other and to their managers, creating a culture of continuous improvement.”

It is easy to fall into the trap of emailing praise or criticism, but this also robs the process of it being a natural dialogue. Says Rosoff: “I think the most important thing to remember is that even though we are remote or virtual, we want to make sure that the feedback conversations we have are synchronous, meaning that they’re happening in real-time.” 

5. Show colleagues you care

Making time for employees shows you are invested in their sense of fulfilment and purpose, even beyond the workplace. Taking note of the names of partners, family members and interests is vital to making each individual feel like they are more than just another office worker who has an access card to the building. This provides you with a better platform to give meaningful, positive feedback.

“Show genuine care and concern for the individuals you work with. Build personal relationships based on trust and mutual respect. Give praise that is specific and sincere, and criticism that is kind and clear,” says Rosoff.

6. There’s no time like real time

Praise should be a sentiment served fast. Not only should you speak to people soon after their achievement, but ideally do it in person, rather than delayed communications like email or other software. Sit down together, either physically or virtually, and put in the time.

“Choose voice or video over text or email because it’s hard in text or email to perceive emotion or intent,” says Rosoff. “We’re much more likely to correctly perceive emotion or intent when we can at least hear the other person.”

This will ensure your words resonate more, especially when delivered while the experience is still fresh in everyone’s minds.

7. Double down on digital

In addition to praising someone in person, you can also share their achievements with their peers and other teams, and their professional network. This can be in person or through email, the intranet, or on LinkedIn. There’s even software such as Reward Gateway, a business-focused intranet that allows you to reward points that can be cashed in for anything from gift cards to electronics.

“Feedback software offers digital validation for performance success,” says Shallcrass. “Generation Z employees particularly appreciate these tools for their efficiency and transparency in recognising achievements. Feedback software contributes to a culture of continuous feedback and recognition, enhancing employee morale and engagement.”

If you decide to give a LinkedIn recommendation, post it from your own LinkedIn page. Your written recognition will be public and gives the receiver the dopamine hit that is tied to social media. It’s also a lasting way to acknowledge someone’s achievements, especially when backed up with considered words. 

8. The delight is in the detail

There are no two words an employee likes to hear more than ‘good job’, but it’s worthwhile to elaborate. With praise, it pays to go an extra step and clarify precisely what you appreciate so much about an effort or execution of a task.

Rosoff and his team work with the four-step process of CORE, which is context, observation, result and expected next step. An example might be: ‘In the last meeting (context), I noticed you spoke up readily and your insights were well researched (observation). The client was impressed (result) and we will work together to implement many of your suggestions (expected next step).’

“Positive feedback should be clear and specific,” says Shallcrass. “Emphasise the results, including the impact of their performance on clients and the team. For instance, rather than acknowledging the completion of a task with: ‘Good job on completing the accounts’ you could say: ‘Thanks for completing the accounts. They were accurate and thorough, and the client appreciated you completing them early’.”

9. The A to Z on a generational approach

Modern workplaces and teams often have many different generations working together and managing each other. Generation Z, born between 1995 and 2009, is the latest to enter the workplace, and some born in the mid-to-late 1990s are ascending to managerial positions themselves. While everyone loves to be praised, some generations respond to it more strongly than others.

“Definitely, the last two generations, gen Z and gen Y [born between 1980 and 1994], want more positive feedback,” says Shallcrass. “It’s not enough just to get a pay cheque; they want that positive feedback as well.

“And, when it comes to constructive feedback they want that more than other generations, but they want that to be presented in an emotionally intelligent way. They want it to be presented in a way that is actually constructive.”

10. You better believe it

Robson offers a fun and necessary element: “Own it!” Which means when offering praise, ensure you really believe what you are saying, and qualify it with ‘I think’ or ‘I believe’, leaning into your authentic self. A dose of personality will also enhance your leadership effectiveness and engagement is always enhanced when your comments don’t feel generic.

You can even practise by self-praising. Ask yourself, ‘What would you like to hear? How would you like that expressed?’ Then, project that demeanour onto others because we all deserve a little positive feedback. And the best managers find a way to turn this recognition into a team that is supported and acknowledged.