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Most of us have an inner voice that gives a running commentary on our lives, though we may not be aware of it. If it’s critical, it can sabotage everything from your performance at work to your health – but it is possible to turn it around. 

Paul Saunders describes the inner critic as a persistent, relentless voice inside your head that loves to point out your flaws and shortcomings.

“Studies by neuroscientists and clinical psychologists suggest that the inner critic evolved to help us regulate our social behaviour,” says Saunders, a psychologist, coach and director of LN Consulting in Melbourne. “When we don’t live up to our own expectations or the expectations of others, we become self-critical.”

It seems likely that the inner critic evolved as a protective mechanism, a way of reminding us to avoid danger and meet social expectations. Today, it often stems from past experiences and societal pressures when you feel you haven’t lived up to the expectations of your peers. 

“It’s like having a nagging coach, parent or partner who only sees the negatives,” says Saunders. “When left unchecked it can drag us down and stifle our confidence.”

As the inner critic stimulates the same areas of the brain as a physical attack, it can also have a physiological effect. 

“If the fight-or-flight response kicks in, you can experience increased heart rate, rapid breathing and muscle tension,” says Saunders. “It can also trigger the release of the stress hormone cortisol which, among other things, affects our ability to focus and think clearly.” 

Different critics

Jo Shortland, a certified neuroleadership coach and vitality and performance mentor based in Raglan, New Zealand, sees the inner critic as an expression of limiting beliefs.

“These are the thinking patterns that stop us from being our best,” she says. 

Different therapists and schools of psychology have identified different numbers of voices. “Freud identified three, Jay Earley [psychological theorist and big-picture thinker] and Bonnie Weiss [psychotherapist and self-esteem specialist] identified seven, and Bronislava Šoková [emotions researcher and facial recognition expert] and her colleagues have named six,” says Saunders. “In my own work, I’ve grouped them into eight areas.”

Do you recognise your inner critics? 

1. The mental heckler – the ‘yeah, but’ voice that interrupts every time you have a good idea.

2. The silencer – the voice that keeps us quiet in meetings and other discussions by telling us we have nothing of value to add. 

3. Paralysing perfectionism – the belief that anything less than perfect is a failure. 

4. The social media effect – all sources of unhealthy comparison.

5. Distraction inaction – finding ways to stay busy as a way of fending off difficult feelings or avoiding a challenging situation.

6. The riddler – a voice that keeps us stuck in analysis paralysis, extreme overthinking or catastrophising. 

7. The clock watcher – the belief that we can only be happy when something changes, such as finding a better job, starting a new relationship or retiring. 

8. The broken seesaw – we find it easy to give compliments, kindness and even love, but struggle to receive and accept them. 

“Limiting beliefs can also play into an overarching abundance or scarcity mindset,” says Shortland. “People with an abundance mindset tend to focus on growth and possibility. They collaborate easily, share knowledge freely and see success as something to be built together. In contrast, a scarcity mindset often shows up as a focus on what’s missing, a need to protect resources and a more competitive or self-protective approach.”

Says Saunders: “Labels can be very helpful but I tend not to use them in the workplace because some people latch on to one or two, say ‘this is me’ and then miss the bigger picture. I encourage clients to pay attention to whether the voice is negative or positive, then work to create a constructive balance.”

“In the workplace, developing a culture of providing constructive feedback can help everyone by reinforcing they’re on the right track and that needing to make changes isn’t failure.”

From critic to supporter

An inner critic isn’t always bad. “Perfectionism can be a positive trait if you know how to manage it,” says Saunders. “For example, an accountant’s job demands accuracy, but that doesn’t mean procrastinating or avoiding certain tasks because you’re afraid you’re falling short.”

Developing more positive self-talk can help people to manage the fear and anxiety that go with perfectionism. 

“In the workplace, developing a culture of providing constructive feedback can help everyone by reinforcing they’re on the right track and that needing to make changes isn’t failure,” says Saunders.

He is also a proponent of incorporating positive affirmations into your daily routine. “Phrases like ‘I am capable’, ‘I deserve success’ or ‘I am enough’ help rewire your brain to create a strong, positive inner voice,” he says. 

Accountants and other finance professionals may be quite sceptical about affirmations. “They tend to be very analytical and data driven, so they want to see facts, figures and proof,” Saunders says. “I’ve found that most are convinced when I share the evidence from neuroscience such as neuroplasticity – the ability of the brain to adapt and change over time.”

An example is the use of positive psychology in sport. “It’s well known that athletes consider visualisation and repeating positive mantras to be an integral part of their preparation,” says Saunders.

Swimmer Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian in history with a total of 28 medals including 23 gold, used visualisation and affirmations as part of his mental preparation. 

“Phelps would mentally rehearse his races, imagining every detail, including overcoming potential setbacks,” says Saunders. “The equivalent challenge in the workplace might be a difficult meeting or an important presentation. Preparing yourself mentally like an athlete can make a big difference to how well you focus and perform under pressure.”

Four steps to manage your inner critic

1. Listen out for the voice

Shortland describes awareness as the birthplace of transformation. “We need to be able to hear our inner critic before we can make any changes,” she says. “Awareness is a sign of growth, so simply noticing any limiting thought patterns is a positive step.”

You can then look more closely at the nature of the voice. 

“Is your self-talk harsh, judgemental or demotivating?” asks Saunders. “Is it a voice from your past – a parent, teacher, sports coach or manager – or is it your own negative self? 

“One of the best ways to help identify the critical voice in your brain is to write down your thoughts and see if you recognise any patterns in the tone, words and style of the language.” 

2. Challenge negative thoughts

Once you’ve identified the inner critic, challenge it. “Question the validity of these negative thoughts,” says Saunders. “Are they based on facts or fears?”

He suggests writing a list of the criticisms you’re hearing, then crossing out those that aren’t logical.

“You can then replace the remaining thoughts with a more balanced and constructive perspective on who you are and what you can do,” he says. 

3. Be kind to yourself

Shortland urges clients to bring interest, kindness and compassion to the experience. “Don’t be angry or hard on yourself,” she says. “Speak to yourself as you would to a good friend or anyone you care about.”

Saunders agrees that self-compassion is a powerful antidote to the inner critic.

“You might start by acknowledging your efforts, celebrating small victories and forgiving your mistakes,” he says. “The company you keep can also influence your inner dialogue. If you surround yourself with supportive, positive and inspirational people, their attitude will help reinforce your new, positive self-talk.”

4. Mindfulness, meditation and gratitude

Practising mindfulness and meditation is another way to help quiet the inner critic. “It allows you to observe your thoughts without judgement, and create a space between you and your critical voice,” says Saunders.

Gratitude can also boost positivity. “I think one of the most helpful exercises you can do is write down what’s gone well for you every day,” says Shortland. “In my coaching sessions, I also get clients to talk about positive experiences in the past weeks or months. This focus can really help people to shift into a more positive space, which makes it easier to reframe the inner critic.”

A worthwhile journey

Transforming the inner critic into a helpful inner voice requires patience, practice and persistence. 

“Remember, you have the power to change your inner dialogue and cultivate a supportive, encouraging and empowering inner voice,” says Saunders. “If your inner critic feels too overwhelming to tackle on your own, there are therapists and coaches who can help with strategies and support. 

“Either way, it’s a journey worth taking to develop a less anxious, more resilient, happier and more effective you.” 

Take away

Read more from the CA Library, including this Jim Murphy ebook, Inner Excellence: Train Your Mind for Extraordinary Performance and the Best Possible Life.